At least a few times per month I get emails and/or calls asking me to help develop confidence and a positive self-esteem. When you’re hot you’re hot and when you’re not, you’re not. Life has its ups and downs and occasionally everyone feels like they’ve run out of gas and nothing they seem to do works. When you’re in a slump the world can look overwhelming and against you. The more you think about you’re victimhood, the more out of control you feel.What you focus upon becomes larger. Confidence, positive self-esteem…these are just words and something experienced many moons ago. Talk it out with your spouse? Sure. See a therapist? Maybe. Get a coach? Good idea. Call a hypnotist…that’s where I come in, but maybe not in an obvious way.
Hypnosis can be of help in so many areas such as controlling weight, memory improvement, reading faster, stopping smoking, becoming a great public speaker, prospecting and growing a business, eliminating fears, becoming a better golfer/tennis player/baseball player etc., sleeping and energy, controlling pain control in dentistry and child birthing, improving wellness, passing tests and so much more. This is not an over statement. Hypnosis is a performance enhancer because it taps into the best parts of who we are to make the changes necessary to make the changes to evolve ourselves.
But “programming” ones mind for confidence and positive self-esteem is not something I’ve seen done effectively. The subconscious says, “What does that mean?” “Give me a picture, what do you want?” Read any neuroscience to know (or simply use common sense) that the subconscious needs specific direction (words, pictures and supportive feelings) for these clear messages to be acted upon. A general business plan is usually a recipe for disaster. A poor teaching plan will confuse students. Mixed general messages given to a 3 year old will produce erratic behavior. A loose navigation plan will have ships traveling in circles. Just like many people.
Instead of working on confidence and positive self-esteem, does it make sense to instead, work on a solid business target of success and develop a business plan that will get you there? If you’re planning for the future, is it not a better idea to set an end result and develop strategies that will make it happen? If you’re looking for better health, doesn’t it make sense to set a target for excellence and back it up with a realistic exercise and eating approach that will insure success?
The confidence and self-esteem will come along automatically. Create the goal, take action, do the work, be consistent. Your business will never grow more than you do. Your health will never get better without you stretching out beyond who you now are. Your relationships will never be more secure and supportive than you are of yourself. Your confidence and self-esteem will never grow without a reason.
Before you therapy or drug yourself into confidence and self-esteem, at least try (Oh! I hate that word) the 10 organic following ideas for 2-3 weeks.
1 Set goals that stretch you out and force you to grow. You can’t be depressed when you’re learning something. Learning takes you out of your egocentric predicament.
2 Create timelines/target dates for goal accomplishments. This establishes a sense of urgency. It puts a little “gitty up” in your step and mind.
3 List your actions of the day on your To-Do list and prioritize all items. Doing the A’s and crossing each off as done, will put a smile on your face and a jolt of small energy in your life. (Accomplishment feels good. Could you use some “feel good”/self-esteem?) You’ll start looking forward to these little positive jolts and do what is necessary to have them. If I was talking cocaine…that would be a bad thing, but since I’m talking non drug human motivation…that would be a good thing.
4 If you’re just feeling flat for no obvious reason, take on an interest/hobby/project that’s been on your mind in the past. Learning stimulates blood flow to different parts of the brain and increases endorphin flow. (E.g. Calligraphy, sailing, martial arts, reading sci-fi, etc.)
5 Follow through like your hair’s on fire. Show yourself what you CAN DO!
6 Create some appropriate reward for the accomplishment.
7 Balance your life with goals in physical, financial, emotional, educational, family, social and spiritual areas. Sometimes more is better.
8 Purposely smile more, laugh easier, hold eye contact a little more (obviously, not in a creepy way) and present a stronger posture.
9 Learn to relax to slow down, put things in perspective, ask yourself how you feel and how you’re doing 2 or 3 times during your day. Don’t let the day rule you. Be present. Pay attention.
10 Act “AS IF” you were already doing things with confidence, making decisions with authority and living the life you want to live. You become what you think about.
By Barry Eisen